Why do our feelings change so much and what can we do about them? Your feelings DO NOT own you.

Feelings, why do they change so much?

I think I love you. No, I don’t even like you. Wait...I think I hate you. Well, I loved you, yesterday. Now, I am not sure. Last week, I barely liked you. Tomorrow, who knows.

You get the idea. Do your feelings make you feel a little crazy, sometimes? Do your feelings make you question yourself, who you are and what you are doing? Haven’t we all? And we are not even talking about the object of your affection. That can happen over the outfit you are trying to decide to wear when you go out with your friends! When you were a kid, you didn’t even question the craziness until you were in your twenties, or older, when you really began to wonder: how can my emotions change so drastically and dramatically so quickly?

Why do our feelings change so much and what can we do about them?

Your feelings do not, I repeat, they DO NOT own you.

Being emotional or sensitive is also somewhat frowned upon and considered weak or unstable in our society. Those who can control their emotions and show little of them are considered the “strong” ones. Are they, though? Are they, really? If you can repress or hide your emotions, then you are "strong"?

Rather than show emotion, we believe that it is expected of us to be calm, strong, and unemotional. We deny our emotions because we believe that is what is expected of us, or we don’t want to feel weak or needy. Being logical or scientific is what our world typically seems to value. The problem with this is that we are emotional, feeling, beings. We aren’t robots and trying to behave like one can actually make us very ill. I know, because I have tried it and, trust me, it didn't work. And, yes, it made me ill.

Furthermore, imagine life without emotions. Sure, we wouldn’t have sadness, but we also wouldn’t experience joy. We wouldn’t have anxiety, but we also wouldn’t experience excitement. We wouldn’t have pain, but we also wouldn’t experience bliss. We wouldn’t have hate, but we also wouldn’t have love. Several years ago, while going through a "dark night of the soul" (See book: St. John of the Cross: "Dark night of the soul."), I had a spiritual vision. I was above the earth looking down at it and I suddenly understood the chaos of earth and why there is darkness in the world. If it weren't for the darkness, we wouldn't recognize the light. God created both the light and the dark. The dark serves an important purpose. While many of our emotions do cause upset and pain, without emotion we would be empty, not experiencing joy, happiness, love or bliss either.

Emotions also tell us when someone isn’t right in our lives. When we are angry, frustrated, disappointed or sad, these emotions tell us that something is happening in our lives that we need to address. It leads us to look at our lives and to change them. What upset us? Was it a situation, a person, an environment, an event, or an occurrence that we didn’t like and that wasn’t healthy for us? Was it something we should have done differently? Was it a situation that made us uncomfortable? Did someone make us feel bad? These emotions can often keep us safe and away from negative situations in our lives. What may be right for someone else, may not be right for us.

Our emotions have a purpose and make us human. Getting in touch with our emotions can lead to positive changes in our lives, sometimes even taking us out of harm’s way. Your feelings serve you in a tremendous way and always have. Let's not run away from emotion. It is not the emotionless who are the "strong" ones. It is those of us who are brave enough to admit and face our emotions: our fears, our disappointments, our rejections, and allow them to flow through us, over us, and away from us. That's right, away from us. They don't own or define us. They are just flowing through at the moment. They have no control over us, unless we give them that control. Don't. They are not who you are truly are, your soul essence. Allow yourself to feel them, recognize them and what they are trying to tell you, similar to body sensations, but then let them be on their way.

The next time you are experiencing a painful emotion, feel it and allow it to flow through you and then picture pure, white, Divine, light falling all over you, taking the pain away, healing and cleansing you, and replacing it with pure love and light. This is when you become STRONG.

Deborah Ann Minke, M.A., B. Ed., OCT, CH-C

Energize and Rise LLC

https://www.energizeandrise.com

(I write my own blogs :)

Questions to think about:

1. Do you feel comfortable expressing your feelings? Why or why not?

2. How do your emotions make you feel? Do you sometimes try to “control” your emotions?

3. Do you sometimes feel out of control when you are emotional?

4. How can you express your emotions and feelings but still be kind and respectful towards others?

5. Emotions make us human but how we express ourselves, or not, can lead to illness or conflictual relationships. Expressing our emotions in a healthy way, such as calmly during conversations, is a way of showing love to yourself and others. What other healthy ways can we express our emotions?

6. What would you like to do differently when expressing your emotions?