Do We Have To Follow Rules? Are We Going To Conform Or Follow Our Joy?
- Deborah Ann Minke
- Feb 10
- 4 min read
Last night, my friend and I went to a painting class. When we walked in, each place at the table had a canvas, paint brushes, and paint provided. The instructor had a sample canvas already painted sitting on the table at the front of the room, with a sunrise. I enjoy painting landscapes, but I wondered if we were supposed to paint our sunrise as she had? It appeared so, and when she began to instruct us, it became even more apparent that we were expected to do the sunrise somewhat like hers.
Do We Need Permission To Be Unique?
The instructor was wonderful, but what if I wanted to do wiggly lines, instead of rays? What if I wanted to do circles instead? Did we have to do our sunrise the same? I started to raise my hand to ask permission to do the sunrise the way I wanted to, but wait! It was my painting, wasn’t it? Did I
really need permission to do it my own way? Quietly, I decided that I would do my sunrise the way I wanted, so I began painting swirls instead of rays. We were expected to do it in steps. I didn’t want to do my painting the same as everyone else at the same time as everyone else. So, I didn’t. I did my own thing. My friend who likes to follow rules gave me a look. Swirls, instead of straight lines? Not doing it in steps? Not doing the first layer and then adding details? No. No. And, no!
Suppressing Our Joy To Fit In
Now, I am not usually a rebel. However, my whole life I
have been doing rays, following everyone else, at the same time, doing what is expected, stifling and repressing ME, often suppressing my joy in order to fit in. That night, I did swirls, my own colors, and became lost in my joy. It was my painting, and I didn’t feel the need for anyone else’s approval. Also, it helped that painting is one of my hobbies and I have plenty of experience, so very quietly I did my own painting the way I wanted to do it. It turned out that the instructor liked both my originality and my painting.
Rules and Instructions
Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with following instructions during a class, especially when we are starting a new activity. I usually do. We shouldn't disrupt a class just to be original. We need to be respectful of others. Be kind, but don't let it interfere with your joy. That night, I just had to step out of my self-imposed box of conformity and rules. It had been one of those days.
Be Original and Respectful
Do we have to follow rules? Are we going to conform or follow our joy? Conformity is important at times. What will the roads be like if we don't follow the signs and rules? What about standing politely in line? There is a purpose for lining up: Preventing stampedes and injuries. Those who like to go ahead of others standing in line aren’t a good example of originality. Don't be that person! Disregarding and disrespecting others is NOT the way to express yourself. Be considerate of others. But, at the same, be who you really are and follow your joy.
Find Your Joy And Let It Flow
Let your joy flow. We often underestimate the power of art and creativity, in many forms, to uplift us and improve our mental and emotional well-being. Be creative. Don't worry about what others think. In fact, they are likely to admire your courage. When I decided to put rose-gold highlights in my hair a couple of years ago, I was surprised at how many people complimented me, even stopped me at the grocery store to comment about how the color suited me and looked nice! One lady said, "I wish I was brave enough to do that!" I was more surprised than anyone else. It had been one of those years.
Celebrate Who You Are
You are special and unique. Celebrate it. And the next time you are asked to paint rays, the same color, the same way, stand up and say:
“No, thank you. I truly love myself, swirls and all.”
Questions for thought.
What are some ways you have conformed to be like everyone else just to fit in?
How did it make you feel to do what everyone else was doing?
Following rules/instructions is necessary, at times. Hurting others is not the answer for being original, but what are some ways you can be yourself in healthy and constructive ways?
How does it make you feel to be yourself and express who you really are now?
In the coming week, think of ways to express and celebrate
yourself that feed your soul and bring you joy. Follow your joy, and remember, be YOU.
Deborah Ann Minke, M.A., B.Ed., OCT, CH-C
Energize and Rise LLC
(I like to write my own blogs :)
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