How do you encourage your children to be who they truly are and their, incredible, unique selves, which can lead to great things?
- Deborah Ann Minke
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
Childhood
We are told growing up that our marks count, the teams we are in count, the friends we have count, the clubs we join count, the memberships we are in count, the schools we go to count. At home, we are told what to do by our parents. At school, we are told what to do by our teachers. In clubs, teams, or memberships, we are told what to do by the leaders or organizers. What is missing? Us!!! When did WE get lost in all of this? When did our identities so often become determined by everyone around us?
Now looking back, we may have learned to conform because we wanted to fit in and not be considered weird. Still, even today, those children who don’t conform are bullied and made fun of by their peers. I saw it as a teacher and it was heartbreaking. How many of you also experienced this as a child: instead of celebrating our unique selves, we became what others wanted us to become, while deep inside, our souls cried out to be valued, accepted and loved.
How do we encourage our children to be themselves?
How do you encourage your children to be who they truly are and their incredible, unique, selves, which can lead to great things? That has been my mission as an adult working and volunteering with children. Rather than take power away from our youth, as that is often what is happening, why not teach them the power of their souls and unique personalities? Our youth are hurting, as evidenced by headline news. Many of them do not feel valued, appreciated, or empowered.
Now there is a fine line between too much freedom and empowering children to be strong in who they are. Most children need the structure that school, home life, clubs, and sports, can provide. However, they also need to feel that they have some independence and individuality in their lives. They need their interests to be encouraged.
My personal interests were devalued
I was interested in supernatural books when I was a child. Those around me, however, laughed at me and made jokes, discouraging my interest in this topic. Looking back, I can see how that interest was the beginning of my interest in the spiritual world. As an adult, I was able to cultivate my interest in religion and spiritual studies, but what if that interest had been encouraged and even supported? Being told my interest was wrong and silly gave me the message that what I thought and liked wasn’t important, laying a very subtle foundation of my staying small and unheard, because that was what was expected of me. Only other people’s views were important, not my own. Eventually, self-esteem issues plagued me, especially as a teenager. Be careful what you say to a child, sometimes those words stick for a life-time.
Every child wants to feel powerful
The most important aspect about all of this? Encouraging our youth to be who they truly are, celebrating their unique traits, and telling them they are powerful beings isn’t going to hurt the school, family or social systems. Instead, it will give the message that they are valued and that the light inside them is beautiful, that they can make a difference in this world, and guess what? EVERY child wants to feel that way. Yes, EVERY, SINGLE, CHILD.
Me become a teacher? Crazy! (see some of my other blog articles)
We all have our own talents and gifts that are necessary and valuable. Who would have thought that I, who hated school, would become a teacher? Let me tell you, certainly not me! When my mom bought me dolls, she had no idea that I was lining them up in rows like a classroom and asking them questions, playing "teacher". Apparently, even I didn't think much about what I was doing, at the time, since I didn't like teachers either, so why would I be playing one?!
Your child's personal power
The next time you hear your child make a comment about some unfathomable topic (to you), pay attention. That topic that seems irrelevant now could lead to great things. When your child shows individuality, celebrate it, and allow him/her to shine with hope, light and personal power. Your child's soul is crying to be heard.
Deborah Ann Minke, M.A., B.Ed., OCT, CH-C
Energize and Rise LLC
(I write my own blogs :)
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