Is your child or teenager from another world? When your child seems like an alien.
- Deborah Ann Minke
- May 17
- 3 min read
Children and teenagers, at times, seem to be very different than us. Is your child or teenager from another world? Maybe an alien? (I have nothing against aliens, in case you were wondering). Maybe or maybe not, but they respond differently and think differently than we do in certain situations. To help children learn, grow, and heal, making a connection with them is of upmost importance. How do we do that if we don't understand them at times? That connection comes from spending time together and taking the time to talk to your child/teenager about what is happening in his/her life. Asking questions and showing interest in daily activities will build that connection with them. Your child/teenager needs to know that you are interested in him/her and minor details to us may be major to a child. We don’t always have the same perspective, so listening to your child allows you to dig a little deeper into what is happening daily that can have an impact on him/her.
Did your child/teenager mention a bully at school and a situation that occurred? Did your child talk about classroom activities to you? Did your child tell you when he/she became angry? These types of situations are important to watch out for, as they can give you a great deal of insight into what your child is experiencing and how he/she is managing with friends, classmates, family, or aquaintances.
When I became a teacher, I was surprised at how upset some children would get over things that to us might not even matter. Lisa, your child’s classmate and friend, wants to play baseball instead of playing soccer with your child? For us, we would think that dilemma would be easily solved by finding someone else to play with, or your child discussing it with Lisa and finding a solution. This is not so easy for children. Some of them haven’t learned those social and communication skills yet and may become overwhelmed with the situation, with tears, anger, or frustration.
Friends can be, unknowingly, hurtful to your child. I am now reminded of a situation in my own life. I went roller skating for the first time with two of my friends when I was 17 years old. I could barely stand up on those skates and when we went off the ice for an ice cream cone, can you imagine what happened? Yes! You guessed it!! As soon as I bought my ice cream, I fell along with my ice cream cone flat onto the floor! My two friends thought it was hilarious and today I agree. I even enjoy telling the story now. Back then, however, I was devastated and even more upset that they were too busy laughing to help me up off the floor! I couldn't get up, never mind my lost ice cream cone!
Children and teenagers are sensitive and experience situations where they are hurt and embarrassed and don’t know how to deal with it. They are growing and learning about the world, and those daily setbacks can be painful and exhausting for them. Take the time to talk and connect with your child and listen to your child’s words, which can give you more understanding about his/her emotional, mental, social, physical and spiritual health. Your child is just starting to learn how to navigate in social situations and needs to feel loved and connected to you.
And if your child falls and drops an ice cream cone on the floor, stop laughing and help him/her up!
Deborah Ann Minke, M.A, B. Ed., OCT, CH-C
Energize and Rise LLC.
(I write my own blogs :)
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